In January 2014 I settled on an annual intention of gaining more FREEDOM. On February 17, of that year I lost my “day” job. Yes, it sucked at the moment. But now I am doing what I love, spending more time with my children and I am ever so grateful.
In January 2015 my annual intention was HAPPINESS. On New Year’s Day, I was hurt by a friend. Because it hit on many of my triggers, I did what I had always done – I attacked. And as I tried to hand her my shit because I did not want to feel it, she gave it right back to me. In the past, I would have simply walked away and told myself that it did not belong to me. But this time I decided to sit in it, smell it and get horribly uncomfortable. This was one of the most painful feelings I had dealt with in a very long time. Since then, I cannot tell you how many times I have been humbled this year. To name a few: I had a failed Meetup group, a horribly embarrassing online interview, and I’ve had people tell me they’ve heard things about me that were simply not true.
So, what does all this have to do with the happiness I intended to find? Everything! With each humbling experience, I learned to say “oh well.” And with each “oh well” that I said, I began to feel a little more free – a little more happy. I was learning to release the fear of failure. I was letting go of the fear of not being good enough. And through the process, I even learned to sit on my butt and relax more, because I realized that I no longer needed to prove my value or my work ethic to others. From there, the happiness and freedom just sort of kicked in. I even started saying “yes” more because I figured, what’s the worst that could happen? I may have to say “oh well” again? Oh well.
And it’s because I was able to live through some very uncomfortable moments this year that I was also able to have some of the most wonderful experiences. Like when I saw on Facebook that someone was looking for a speaker for her Meetup group. By saying yes, I made another amazing lifelong friend – and got more public speaking practice. I said yes to joining this incredible group called Project Positive Change and WOW! I can’t tell you how many inspiring and talented friends I have met who have forced me even more outside of my comfort zone and changed my life forever. I even had the opportunity to travel with them to Boston and present at our very first public event! I could share so many more great stories like this from the past year but the point I’m making is that I had these experiences because I asked for happiness.
Although this year has been anything but easy, I can look back and honestly say that every challenge I faced was rewarding and, yes, I am a happier person because of it. I share all this with you as an invitation to think about what you truly want to experience this upcoming year. Do not make the decision out of fear; make it out of faith and love. And know that I am here to support you through your journey.
Mantra: Oh, Well…
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