It is more common than we may think.

I don’t even remember how it came up, but as I talked matter-of-factly about my insecurities to a friend, she stopped me mid-sentence and exclaimed, “WHAT? Not you! Never would I think that you would be insecure!”

I don’t know why I was surprised; this was not the first time that someone has been caught off guard by this fact. But it’s true – I, too, have insecurities!

My friend’s reaction made me uncomfortable and I started to question myself even more because, as you know, that’s just what we humans do. I started thinking, “I have really been working on not being so rigid, but I must still seem really rigid to others.” Then other negative thoughts started to creep in… Thank goodness I put up that stop sign in time!

I have been working on myself in this area and I can honestly say that I am feeling more confident these days. But my reaction to my friend’s comment made me realize that in my book, having confidence equals being unapproachable – a “too good for you” attitude. What the hell?! Where did this mess come from?!

For all I know, I was probably feeling good about something one day and my confidence made someone else uncomfortable. They may have responded with something hurtful and I claimed it as my truth. (For those of you who have had sessions with me or taken any of my classes, I hope that you are laughing your butts off right now and sending me some love!)

Just because I teach self-love doesn’t mean that I don’t also have to constantly remind myself to not take what others say or don’t say or what they do or don’t do personally. When I fall into the trap, I find that it helps to use mantras and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to regain my balance. After all, their thoughts about me DO NOT MATTER! What does matter, however, is how I feel about myself. Now repeat after me, “I am enough; I am more than enough” about 10 times!

Here is what I would say to someone else having an experience like mine: Thank goodness that your friend’s reaction allowed you to fully take in this lesson so that you can FEEL it, honor it and let that shit go! Stop shrinking down to make others comfortable! Use EFT to increase the effectiveness and tell yourself, “Today, I choose to honor me for me – just as I am – with all of my perfections and all of my imperfections. Today, I choose to feel safe being confident. It feels good and it is so freeing to not care what others think of my experiences.”

Now, I hope you all remember to embrace your confidence and NOT SHRINK DOWN TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE this month.

I am sending you all so much love!

I genuinely appreciate you!

Dena

Remember that 14er that I set the intention to hike last month? I am feeling accomplished.