1-28-2018

I watched a part of the Grammy Awards tonight. Not really an “awards show” person for years, but I landed on it as I scrolled through the channel options of distractions. The entertainers came and went. Then Kesha was introduced, with her song “Praying”.

I’ve “known” Kesha, since her Southern California beach girl songs, that seemed vacant and immature. The truth is, until hearing “praying” on the radio, I really haven’t been aware of what she has been doing musically, or otherwise. But with this song, there was obviously a leap in sophistication, as well as exhibition of singing talent. I would listen on the radio, to the words, and – as I’m sure many of us can- I thought of a someone, or two, who I would dedicate it to in my mind.

Tonight’s performance of the song had her surrounded by fellow female performers, (with the men who have abused their power acting as emotional backup singers – giving strength to the women’s’ voices.)

I listened to the words and looked at their faces. They, like me – a woman in this world. I began to cry our tears, in the realization that even in our “Western Society” and “Modern World” as a woman I am not as safe as a man.

I am not saying that crimes against men don’t happen, but just by the physical strength, I am at a disadvantage physically, and I have already experienced the disadvantage of the feminine status in both a physical and a non-physical way.

I realized that I limit myself because I am a woman. I put off travel, because I fear walking the streets of a foreign city alone. I fear walking the street of my city – alone. I will call for a ride home if out, rather than take the metro. There was a woman raped while she was actually on the metro, just last week. In my last town, with busy streets, a woman was raped in a side alley, at three in the afternoon. Daylight, even, is not a safety net.

I realized, I fear to exercise the same options as a man, because there are men who may exercise their physical power to do harm. The monetary and business power has been in the forefront recently. However, it is not just the workplace, or the home – it is in the street, the parking lot, the train ride home. It affects every woman, even if outside her awareness.

 I realized that, as many wonderful, kind and gentle men as there are out there – there are those who are emotionally vapid and will seek to bolster their false manliness by exhorting power over another.

Yes, “me too” I have experienced the ugly view of a man expressing his inappropriate power. But I have been luckier than many in the way that I’ve seen it. Because of that, I hadn’t realized how much I was affected until watching tonight.

So, it does, indeed, leave me praying for anyone who feels so small about themselves, that they would want to exert power over someone else. I pray they find their peace, before they hurt another.

“Oh, but after everything you’ve done, I can thank you for how strong I have become”-Kesha